It couldn’t be helped. It had to be attempted. Willie’s Sports Cafe’s Big Sloppy. The great burger overlord. The one burger to rule them all. Two sleep-inducing 1/2 pound Angus patties on three buns with four slices of cheese, tartar sauce, and 8 artery-clogging slices of bacon. With fries. The first problem of course is getting it in your mouth. After a bit of smooshing and mashing, I finally got it down to a height that just barely fit in my mouth. The main problem, however, is eating it all. Over one pound of meat just waiting to cause gastroinestinal distress. Oh, Big Sloppy, you are more than a meal. 1/4 of the way through it, Big Sloppy seemed to get bigger with each bite. 1/3 of the way through and Big Sloppy was openly mocking me; grinning it’s tartar sauce grin. Halfway through with my heart palpitating and my left arm tingly I finally had to throw in the towel and concede defeat to the demon of Big Sloppy. Oh Big Sloppy, instigator of naps, intestinal rupturer, catalyst of cardiac arrest. My cholesterol has surely doubled, though I fear I may come to lament my ill-fated battle with Big Sloppy even more as he wreaks his terrible vengeance on my bowels… No mortal can be a match for Big Sloppy. Big Sloppy I fear you.

Thank to a tip from a friend, we headed up Colerain to Walt’s BBQ. Walt’s appears to be an old Taco Bell, with two stainless steel smokers sitting outside. The parking lot was full and the restaurant was packed — always a good sign. The delectable aroma of smoked meat wafted over us as we sauntered inside and ultimately selected a table outside.

Walt’s has a bigger menu than any of the other BBQ places we’ve stopped at. There’s definitely something for everyone here, though the highlight (and bulk of the menu) is clearly barbecue. Between the four of us, we ordered a brisket dinner, a 1/2 slab of ribs, and two “3 pigs” platters which included small pulled pork, brisket, and pulled chicken sandwiches, along with about 3 ribs.

As usual, I went with the 1/2 slab of ribs and chose mac ‘n’ cheese and sweet potato casserole for my sides. For the first time in the tour, I was a bit envious of some of my compatriots’ choices. The 3 pigs platters contained an awe-inspiring amount of meat, while affording the opportunity to sample all the BBQ delights Walt’s has to offer.

That said, the ribs were served dry with sauce on the side. I like my ribs that way since I can see how the meat tastes before slathering it in sauce. These were relatively meaty ribs that fell of the bone and had a distinctly hickory-flavored smoke. Walt’s offers two types of sauces, regular and spicy. The regular is very sweet, with little tang. The spicy is still a sweet sauce, but packs a little heat. I recommend it over the regular. The mac ‘n’ cheese was disappointing. The cheese was a little congealed and mostly flavorless. Definitely a pass. The sweet potato casserole on the other hand was quite tasty. Sweet, with little crunchy bits of marshmallow and pecans, it served as a nice side/dessert for my lunch. Walt’s also serves the best cornbread thus far on the tour. Sweet without tasting like cake, and just a little grainy — this is cornbread the way I like it.

Walt’s clocks in at the most expensive stop of the tour. My 1/2 slab of ribs set me back $12.00. But, I also noted that Walt’s has all-you-can-eat ribs for $14.95 from 4-8 on Tuesdays. I don’t know about everyone else, but…I can eat a lot of ribs…

Overall, Walt’s moves like a rocket into second place. Not quite good enough to unseat BBQ Revue but still very good and with the large menu perhaps more conducive to regular visits.

We headed off the beaten path a bit today and checked out a new BBQ restaurant. Located at 11th and Brighton Streets in Newport next to the Westside Cafe, Petey G’s Ribs & Hot Wings is easy to miss. But, if you manage to find it be prepared for some tasty barbecue at bargain prices.

Upon entering, we were first greeted by giant stuffed bear who looked hungry for ribs!

At the counter, we were welcomed by Petey G’s friendly staff who took our orders and whipped up our food.

All 5 of us got the Rib Dinner which includes two sides for $6.50. Lemonade and iced tea are complimentary.

The rib dinner includes a hearty portion of beef ribs bathed in a sweet and tangy sauce. For sides, I chose the requisite mac ‘n’ cheese and baked beans. The mac ‘n’ cheese was definitely above average — the third best thus far. The beans were the best I’ve had yet. Sweetened with brown sugar, they’re as close to they way I make them as any I’ve had while dining out. The ribs were sweet, just a little chewy, and 3-napkin messy. Very tasty indeed.

Since wings receive equal billing in the name of the restaurant, we decided to try an order of wings as well. These are lightly breaded with a peppery breading and available with either hot sauce or BBQ sauce. We chose to get some of each on the side. The wings were fantastic — meaty and juicy and full of flavor. After all the ribs and wings, we all left happy with full bellies.

Considering that lunch here cost about 1/2 what it cost at every other place we’ve visited, this is definitely the bargain of the bunch, and among the best tasting as well! I don’t think it quite rose to the level of BBQ Revue, but it definitely stands tall among the rest. I’ll have to return.

Always garnering raves from the local press, Pit to Plate BBQ had to be on our list. It’s a little out of the way on Compton in Mt. Healthy, but that never stops a BBQ hound from finding good ‘cue. We were again pleased by the smoky aroma as we walked up the parking lot towards the front door. Pit to Plate is in a small building set back off the road and is decorated in a Western theme as befits a tasty BBQ joint. Prices were middle-of-the-road compared to our other stops, and I again had a half-slab of baby-back ribs, choosing mac ‘n’ cheese and “garlic parlsey taters” as sides.

Pit to Plate offers 5 sauces to choose from: Sweet & Mild BBQ, Sweet & Hot BBQ, Carolina Style Sauce, Wing Sauce, and Hot & Sweet Mustard. The two sweet BBQ sauces are about what you’d expect, although the Hot isn’t all that hot. The Carolina sauce was vinegar-based and to me tasted almost like straight vinegar. They could learn a thing or two from BBQ Revue on how to do a “southern-tang” style sauce. The Wing sauce was interesting, not your typical buffalo flavors, and the Mustard sauce was very tasty indeed.

My ribs came out room temperature and overcooked. The smoke flavor was very good, but wasn’t enough to overcome the tough, chewy bits of leather clinging to the bone. Some sauce helped lubricate things a bit, but equally disappointing was the lack of rub on the ribs. Not only were they tough and dry, but they had little flavor beyond smoke. The mac ‘n’ cheese was average, about on par with those from Jimmy’s. The very interesting sounding “garlic and parsley taters” were just quartered new potatoes in a garlic butter sauce vaguely reminiscent of the stuff that comes in little plastic tubs from Papa Johns.

I don’t know…given Pit to Plate’s reputation, maybe they had an off day. Maybe ribs aren’t their specialty. Nevertheless, with great surprise, I’m going to have to rank them at the bottom thus far in the tour.

Today it was time to visit Jim Dandy’s in Sharonville. Jim Dandy’s is in a relatively new BBQ joint but for years was a smoker and a trailer at the corner of Sharon and Mosteller. These days they have a nice new building just down the road with two smokers outside. Walking up to the restaurant is a joy as you get a noseful of the two smokers. I typically figure the better a BBQ place smells on the way in, the better the food will taste once you’re inside. I wasn’t disappointed.

I got a half-slab of ribs, which for $10.25 comes with two sides. I chose mac ‘n’ cheese and cornbread. The cornbread was a little dry, and really nothing special. The mac ‘n’ cheese on the other hand was excellent, a close second to BBQ Revue. The ribs were, as a sign inside proudly proclaims, “Spiced and Smoked, not Boiled and Soaked.” These were chewier ribs than either Jimmy’s or BBQ Revue, but had a bold smoke flavor that went well with the slightly spicy mild BBQ sauce. My only complaint with the ribs is that they were a little skimpy on actual meat. The flavor was excellent, but I was still a bit hungry after plowing my way through the slab.

Halfway throught the BBQ tour, Jim Dandy’s still manages to slip into 2nd place for me, right behind BBQ Revue and just ahead of Jimmy’s. The tour continues…

The quest continues. Today we headed out to Carthage to indulge in some smoked delectables courtesy of Jimmy’s BBQ.

Three of the four of us chose to partake of the half slab of ribs, which comes with two sides for a reasonable $10. Portions were gigantic. I got mac ‘n’ cheese and baked beans for my sides. The baked beans came in a giant paper tub and must have included an entire can of beans. Taste-wise they were only so-so…think Campbells. The mac ‘n’ cheese was also a huge portion and quite tasty. Not the exquisite delight that BBQ Revue’s mac ‘n’ cheese was, but still a worthy offering.

So let’s get to the ribs, already. These were rubbed and smoked and cooked to perfection. The meat fell apart into strands like the best BBQ pork does. As a bonus, these ribs included the rib tips as well. Like a 2 for 1! Unfortunately, they were also more gristly than I like but the great taste went a long way to make up for it. Jimmy’s offers two sauce choices, regular BBQ and Chipotle. Neither is anything to write home about and seem to have a too-strong liquid smoke flavor to them. For huge portions, and tasty ribs, I’ll slot Jimmy’s into 2nd place behind BBQ Revue and ahead of Goodies BBQ.

Today we made our way out to Madisonville to give BBQ Revue a try. The first thing we noticed was that BBQ Revue is a hair cheaper than Goodies. A 1/2 slab of ribs go for $8.75, which was hard to pass up. So I didn’t. The ribs came out with a nicely charred rub on the outside, and tender, smoky, fall-off-the-bone meat on the inside. This is what ribs should be.

The sauce comes on the side here so you can use as much or as little as you like. It’s a Southern-style tangy, tomato and vinegar based sauce, that perfectly compliments without overpowering the sweet smoky flavor of the ribs. I got a small order of mac ‘n’ cheese on the side for which I have trouble finding the words to describe. Quite simply, this was the best mac ‘n’ cheese I’ve ever tasted. There appeared to be at least three types of cheese in them, giving it a delightfully creamy texture with layers and layers of flavor.

Another got the beef brisket sandwich, which consists of a large brick of brisket inside a typical bakery bun. A tasty bargain at $3.95. I’m told it was delicious, though I think I detected some rib envy anyway.

There’s also a train car outside where you can get soft-serve ice cream and shakes, but after stuffing myself with BBQ I had to pass on that.

BBQ Revue jumps out to an early lead in the BBQ tour standings, handily defeating Goodies BBQ.

In a quest to find the greatest BBQ in Cincinnati, today we emabarked on a journey through a mouth-watering land of beef, pork, smoke, and sauce. Our first stop found us at Goodies in College Hill.

I had some tasty medium beef ribs with mac ‘n’ cheese and cornbread.

I’m not typically a big fan of beef or spare ribs, but these were chewy without being grisly and in Goodies’ famous thick and spicy BBQ sauce. I didn’t detect much smoke flavor in the meat, but these were quite good nonetheless. The mac ‘n’ cheese and cornbread were both average.

The others had a heaping basket full of rib tips

which looked amazing and got raves all around.

Overall, Goodies had some damn fine ‘cue, but I suspect by the time we finish our tour, it will wind up somewhere in the middle.